WILD BITCH SEASON 4 (English draft): Post Scriptum

At 6.30 PM on April 27th 2003 on the Околовръстния път – somewhere in the section between Simeonovo road and the turn отбивката for Mladost – a blue Škoda 120L was moving/driving in the pouring rain. The headlights were on, the wipers hardly managed to maintain an acceptable level of visibility through the front windshield.

Wild Bitch Season
by Rogger Dojh

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PART IV
Post Scriptum (translation early alpha)

* Всички съвпадения на имена на хора и места, както и съвпадението на цялата история с реалността са напълно случайни. *

1.

At 6.30 PM on April 27th 2003 on the Околовръстния път – somewhere in the section between Simeonovo road and the turn отбивката for Mladost – a blue Škoda 120L was moving/driving in the pouring rain. The headlights were on, the wipers hardly managed to maintain an acceptable level of visibility through the front windshield.

Because of the low clouds it had started going dark earlier than usual. The driver, who was alone in the vehicle, was driving carefully – with around 50 km/h – and even then he was standing as upright in his seat as he could with the hope to be able to discern any potential obstacles on the road, hidden under the huge puddles. His attention was pointed to the road and the мантинелата from where pedestrians could jump out.

A freight truck swished by in the opposite direction. The driver of the blue Škoda shot a quick glance in the rear view mirror and cursed aloud. The trucker was driving with at least 70 km/h.

The next car in the opposite lane/way was with halogen headlights and the driver in the blue Škoda slowed down, completely blinded by the bright light.

When the hotshot black car went by the young guy behind the wheel looked around and abruptly slowed down. Next to the road, at a bus stop covered in mud, stood a soaking wet creature and was obviously waiting for a bus.

The car stopped in front of the creature and the right door opened. The girl (wore a skirt and had long hair – we’ll all keep our fingers crossed for it to be a girl and not a transvestite) approached the car and exchanged a few words with the driver. After that she got into the car, closed the door and the blue Škoda drove on.

2.

Swish-swish-swish, the wipers said. The tires hissed against the wet road (настилка). The girl next to me was sitting still, clenching her hands in her lap. Or not – there was still a movement – she was shaking all over.

‘Where exactly in Mladost are you going?’ I looked at her with the corners of my eyes without taking my attention off the отвратителния road. She lifted her hands to fix her hair a bit and sprayed me with rain waiter. Poor thing, she was wet all over. I reached and set the heating to the maximum.

‘Number 43.’

‘Alright. Are you cold?’

‘A little bit.’

‘Hang on.’

I slowed down and pulled over. I took of my jacket and helped her put it on over her light shirt. The girl looked at me thankfully.

‘It’s thin but it’s really warm actually.’ I put up the hood over her head. The girl looked like the Emperor from Star Wars like that.

‘Thank you!’ she said. I let her settle in the шушляковото thing and drove the Blue Bird on.

We stood quiet for a while. Some fag in an Audi drove pass me just in front of the muzzle of another freight truck and got into his lane at the last second. The truck was changing short and long lights like mad. After that we got to an unregulated crossroad where I was engaged in staring through the water streaks.

‘It’s a bit insane waiting for a bus on the Околовръстното in weather like that’ I threw in when we went out on a straight section and I could relax a little.

The girl looked at me from underneath the hood.

‘A lot of insane things happened today already’ she replied.

‘What happened?’

She sneezed.

‘I dropped my cell phone in a puddle. After that there war no taxis on околовръстното – as if I was waiting at some country road. Instead an empty bus 111 drove by but it didn’t stop.’

‘Great/groovy’ I said. My guess was these weren’t the insane things she meant but I decided not to bug her with questions.

I got to the exit for Mladost 4 and slowed down to turn. Before I made the left turn I had to wait for another freight truck to drive by. A lot of freight trucks had come out in the rain. As if they were rain worms. Fssssss … the freight truck went through a huge whole on the road and splashed water all over.

‘I’m not diverting you a lot, am I?’ the girl asked.

‘Not at all. I’m going to the Regional Hospital. Where exactly is number 43?’

‘It’s a bit into the neighborhood. There is a pet shop behind the market. Then there’s a store and a café next to it. Do you know it?’

‘Yep.’

‘If you could drive me to there…’

I smiled reassuringly and kept driving.

In 5 minutes I was already maneuvering through the tangled narrow streets around the building and stopped in the parking in front. The girl looked at me. I looked at her in turn, a wet lock of hair had got out from underneath the hood; a narrow streak of water was dripping from it onto the jacket, reflecting the light from the neon signs and street lamps.

‘Thanks very much.’

‘No worries, we got you home.’

‘If you hadn’t picked me up…we’ll I’m gonna get sick anyway but otherwise I would have probably died on that bus stop.’

‘Well, good luck.’

I smiled.

‘So…I’m gonna go’

She took her purse, opened the door and started getting off. At the last moment she stopped.

‘Oh!’

She tucked her leg back.

‘I completely forgot. I was going to leave with this…’

At the parking lot it was quite lit up and for the first time I had the chance to take a good look at the girl after she got out of the шушляковата jacket. She was quite pretty. Actually she was … ‘A knockout.’ I thought. ‘Why don’t I meet women like that? Obviously they don’t go to the places where I go…’ I just didn’t quite realize I had just met one.

‘Once again sorry for troubling you, I …’

‘Aren’t you going to ask me for coffee?’ I interrupted her and smiled apologetically.

‘Well, actually…’

‘Sorry, didn’t mean to bother you.’

‘No, it’s a really good idea, it’s just that it’s a bit overcrowded upstairs and …’

‘Don’t worry, I was just kidding. Ok, I gotta run. And you try not to get sick.’

‘If you have time, we can go for coffee tomorrow. Would you like that?’

‘Sure. Write down my phone number.’

‘I have nothing to write it on.’

‘Hmm. Hang on.’

I pulled out of my shirt pocket my military notebook and pen. I tore out a piece of paper and wrote my number. I wrote Rogger Dojh underneath.

‘Is your name Dojh?’

‘Yep.’

‘I’m Sylvia.’

‘Nice to meet you Sylvia.’

‘Well, then…I’m going to go in. I’m really cold.’

‘Run.’

Finally the wet creature left the Blue Bird and disappeared into one of the entrances. Before she went in she looked my way and waved.

The seat next to me was wet. It was like the girl had peed herself. Ugh, ok, it’s just rain water. I smiled sourly and reared out.

3.

Monday was the day my cell phone didn’t ring once. I was a little sorry she didn’t call. That night I went to bed in a bad mood. The next morning my leave was over and went back to the army department where I was serving. C’est la vie …

4.

Date: June 23rd 2003
Time: 6:00 PM.
Venue: one of the Simeonovo houses (the Western part)

O-Gosh and I were just completing the install of the PC and the amplifiers. We took out the two speakers in front of the house so that the sound in the yard where we had arranged some tables and chairs would be better.

My cell phone started chirping.

‘This is Dojh.’

‘Hey Denushko!’

‘Hey Mimi! How are you sweetie?’

‘I’m in trouble. My battery is down and I can’t start the car. I can get through to Mum and Milady. I don’t know if I can come.’

‘If you want me to break your legs don’t come.’ I replied cheerfully.

‘I don’t want to spend on a caaab’ Mimi dragged on ‘I’m flat broke and my mom and Sashko are in the country so there’s no one I can take cash from.’

‘Don’t try and find excuses, you just don’t want to come’

‘I dooo!’

‘Then I’ll come pick you up.’

‘Really?’

‘Yep. I’ll start off in 10 min. You make sure you’re ready by the time I get there’

‘Thank you Denushko! But if you don’t want to drive all that way…’

‘No, of course I’ll come!’

‘Great, I’m really glad.’

‘K, see you in a bit.’

Click!

‘You’re gonna go pick Mimi up?’ O-Gosh inquired.

‘Yep. I’m heading there now, cause the freaks will start coming in any minute.’

5.

I headed down Simeonovo road. I hesitated for a moment whether to go through Student Town but at the thought of the 50 traffic lights on the way I се отказах and I swerved on the Околовръстното. Traffic was heavy. Maybe that was a mistake. Well, drive on.

I picked up the speed. The weather was great, unlike the last time I was coming down from O-Gosh’s house. I wondered if I was going to recognize the bus stop where I had picked up that ungrateful goose. Doubt it. It was pouring so much back then that I could hardly see anything.

I approached a bus stop. With a sour smile I looked at the people that were standing there. They were bored. Околовръстният път isn’t one of the nicest places where you can wait for public transport. Too many cars, too much dust…

Hey, a familiar face. For a part of the second our eyes met; the girl’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. My brain went into a higher gear and… Damned! I shifted from fourth to second gear, hit the breaks, letting go of the съединителя, put on the emergency lights and pulled over. A couple of faggots swished by me hitting their horns.

I was about 50 meters away from the bus stop. I turned around in my seat. There was too much traffic on the road – it would have been insane to rear to it. But that wouldn’t have been necessary anyway – I was about to have some company.

I turned off the engine and got off. I started in the opposite direction to meet her.

Once she saw I was out the girl waved at me. She was strolling fast. We met halfway.

‘Hi!’ Sylvia said/exclaimed. ‘Sorry for no calling you but I lost the piece of paper with your phone on it! I looked for it everywhere. It probably fell in the elevator…’

‘Yeah, riiight…’ I replied.

‘No, honestly!’ Sylvia reached out to shake my hand ‘Hello then.’

‘Hi’ I grinned – with a cheerful creature like that you couldn’t help smiling.

‘Where were you heading so fast?’

I looked back at the Blue Bird. It was standing quietly next to the road, blinking in orange.

‘Sofia. I’m heading your way actually.’

‘Great! This time I’ll invite you to come up for coffee!’

We started walking towards the car.

‘Actually I’m inviting today.’

‘What’s the occasion?’

‘I completed my military service.’

‘You were a soldier?!’

‘Yeah. It’s my discharge date today. The party is in Simeonovo. At the villa of a friend of mine.

‘But you’re going to Sofia?’

‘I have to go pick up my sister.’ I often present Mimi as my sister. That’s how you avoid interpretational misunderstandings – so, if you’re free…’

‘Oh, I can’t come. I’m really sorry! I have an appointment tonight.’

Seeing the disappointment on my face, Sylvia added:

‘Oh, I don’t want things to be like this. Are you free tomorrow night?’

‘Yeah.’

‘So let’s go out then.’ we were almost next to the car.

‘Deal’ I opened the door for her. ‘Five thirty at the ХМС.’

‘Alright.’

The Blue Bird roared, put on a left blinker and arrogantly poured into the traffic, causing a new wave of horn sounds.

‘Blow me’ I said from behind the wheel. Sylvia looked at me questioningly. ‘Oh don’t worry’ I added quickly ‘that’s how I communicate with the rest of the drivers.’

6.

‘Are you alone?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Weird evening’

‘What do you mean?’

‘The scent of the air. It’s driving me insane.’

‘Hang on’ noise from interruptions of moving a wireless phone around. A window is opened. ‘Oh. I haven’t gone out today, can you believe it?’

‘Why?’

‘I don’t want to see anyone. I hate the crowds lately.’

‘That’s completely natural.’

‘And you? Are you alone?’

‘Yeah. Alone with the cat.’

‘Tell her to say meow.’

‘Here kitty, kitty…there. Say meow. Meowmeowmeow! Say meow!’

‘Meooow-eee!’

‘There you go.’

‘Geez, what did you do to it?’

‘Nothing, I just turn her tail like a music box lever.’

‘Meeow?’

‘Heh. I understand what you mean about the air.’

‘Yeaaah.’

‘Why are you home? Usually at this time you’re somewhere out or you’re fast asleep.’

‘I didn’t feel like going out anywhere either. Actually I’m in a really weird mood. Now I want to go out but it’s late. There’s nowhere to go and no one to go with.

‘You might turn out to be a night bird.’

‘Or I could turn out to be a night mammal. Or something else, like a night reptile. Or a night fish. Or a night insect.’

‘Or a night lamp. It’s quite dark here, actually.’

‘Here too. But there’s enough light coming in from outside.’

‘There are night insects coming in as well. What did you do during the day?’

‘Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, awk, awk.’

‘Won’t the tick-tock man run out of clocks?’

‘I’m guessing he lays them, Twenty a week. He might be nesting them. Puts four clock on the bidet and squats so they’re warm, hoping for something to hatch.’

‘Like what?

‘Ticktockosaurus.’

‘It must be really scary.’

‘Unbelievably scary. Instead of a beak it has two watch hands and is wound up with a key.’

‘Does it tick-tock when it walks?’

‘Yep.’

‘He must have a whole bunch of ticktockosauruses at his place.’

‘Don’t know bout that but he surely has a lot of clocks. And he has a bidet.’

‘Did you deal with him all day?’

‘Almost. I drew a clock. I could scan it and send it to you on your mail when I get home tomorrow.’

‘Definitely. Where are you now?’

‘At my parents’ place. I’m taking Garfield to the vet tomorrow.’

‘What’s wrong with him?’

‘He’s limping.’

‘He’ll be fine.’

‘What about you? Weren’t you at work today?’

‘No. I took a leave for 5 days. I haven’t stayed at home to relax in an awfully long time. What was that?’

‘A tram.’

‘At 2 AM?’

‘If you think about it, we as a phenomenon are also abnormal at this time of night.’

‘That’s right. It’s weird that you caught me awake. You had never called so late at night.’

‘Fact. I tried to sleep, but after an I hour I got up voluntarily. I hesitated whether to risk calling you. Finally I decided to hang up if you don’t pick up after the first ring.’

‘Hehe. And I picked up. Actually the phone is next to the bed; I was just lying on my back with my eyes opened, trying not to think about anything. It’s awfully hard.’

‘I know. Though I think I’ve mastered it.’

‘Why are you awake then?’

‘Well, I managed to fall asleep and something woke me up. The surroundings here are already unfamiliar to me. I had a ton of adrenalin pour into my blood. Even if I amputate/sever my brain I won’t be able to fall asleep soon.’

‘Something just perched on my window sill.’

‘Could be a night fish.’

‘Looks like a bird.’

‘Is it ticking?’

‘I don’t know – it’s too far away to hear.’

‘Might be a ticktockosaurus.’

‘What should I do if it really is?’

‘Well, first thing you need is a hammer. When it approaches you start hitting repeatedly and very hard. After that all you need to do is clean up the glass and зъбни wheels.’

‘I guess it was a night bird. It flew away’

Silence.

‘Sylvia, do you want to see me?’

‘When?’

‘Now.’

Silence.

‘Weird offer.’

‘Weird night.’

‘Yeah. Do you have anything specific in mind?’

‘I do, but the suggestion has to come from you.’

‘And what should that be?’

‘Well, for instance … inviting me over.’

Silence.

Silence.

‘Sure. You know where I live.’

‘I don’t know which floor.’

‘Third. Mladenovi. A massive wooden door.’

‘Do you have candles?’

‘Yep.’

‘Red wine?’

‘No.’

‘Meow.’

‘Will Garfield be coming?’

‘He’ll guard the house from night trams trying to get in and eat it.’

‘When will you be here?’

‘In 45 minutes. If I don’t die on the way. In that case I won’t be coming.’

‘Great.’

‘Well, ok, if I get stopped by the cops it could be later.’

‘K, I’ll wait for you.’

‘Bis dann’

‘Bye.’

7.

Another night, another place.

Warm air. Darkness. Santana. Samba Pa Ti. Vanilla ice cream, bottle of Crème De Mint and another one with water – on the floor next to the mattress. Somewhere among these invisible things the light from my cell phone blinks.

‘If you open the window, you’ll hear the song of the crickets.’

‘More likely we’ll hear the song of the dogs and potentially the song of some whore on our neighbor’s TV above. Ouch!’

‘Hehe, you’re ticklish.’

‘Well, that doesn’t mean you have to harass me. Ouch!’

‘Ouch!’

‘Let’s see now who’s ticklish.’

For a while all that could be heard is silent struggle. The female voice starts giggling. After that the laughter quiets down and flows over into heavy breathing.

‘Tickle-tickle’ the other voice suddenly says.’

‘I’m going to kill you’ Sylvia replies. ‘Why did you stop!!! Hey, what is that?!?!’

‘Mint’

‘It’s cold!’

‘Well, having in mind how hot you are it won’t stay cold for long.’

‘Give me some ice cream.’

‘Try not to bite my finger off.’

Silence.

‘Oouch.’

‘Hahaha.’ the creature/snake is pleased with herself for biting me.’

‘If you go on like this there won’t be anyone to lick the mint off you and a fly will get stuck to you.’

‘Ok then, bite me back if you want to. Ooouch!!!’

‘Is that alright?’

Obviously it’s not.

‘Stop it! You started first! Stop. Ouch! Ouch!’

‘Serves you right.’

‘Ok! Truce.’

‘Hm.’

‘But we need to seal it with a comrade kiss.’

‘Let’s do that’

What can you hear when two people are kissing? But who even pays attention to that stuff? The attention is focused primarily on the tip of the tongue. It receives and transmits so much information, that it’s enough to flood the brain. The slightly sweet and a bit metallic taste of the girl’s mouth, the roughness of her tongue, the hills of her teeth, the dent at the center of the lower lip, the soft skin on her chin, the little cave at the base of her throat/neck, which is already salty…

‘Ouch!’

‘Next time I’ll warm up the mint beforehand and put it in a thermos.’

‘Stop talking’ it doesn’t really sound well on paper…but that’s cuz the intonation and the characteristic hoarseness in the voice are missing.’

Hey, that’s a belly button! The sweet thing has a ticklish belly button.

‘Come on, just relax’ I reproach her gently.

‘Why don’t you just continue?’

Later on:

‘Is that mint again?’

‘Yep. I just found a new technology for warming it up.’

‘I guess the sheets are already Made on Mars.’ I add a little after that.

‘Why Mars?’

‘Cuz the Martians are green’

‘Isn’t it logical then that their sheets are in another color?’

‘They have a poor imagination. Quiet.’

‘Mmmm. And maybe the Martian mint is just red?’

‘Actually…’

‘That was a rhetorical question. Please, go on!’

Some time passes.

Time passes.

‘I want you in me.’

‘Heh, the sweet thing is aroused.’

‘Stop…getting…distracted. Come on, I can’t pull you in alone. Come on, COME ON!’

‘Mmm.’

‘Pick yourself up a little higher.’

‘Don’t move around so much. Ok.’

Something like silence.

‘Do you want me to be on time’

‘It would be my pleasure.’

‘You’re soaking wet.’

‘I’m pretending that I’m a night fish. Eeehaaa!’

Sqush, squish, squish.

‘Do you want to turn the volume up? I’m getting distracted from all that squishing.’

I start laughing. I squeeze out from underneath Sylvia’s slippery body and I start maneuvering between the furniture in the dark. Instead of dealing with the PC, I blow up the volume of the amplifiers.

‘Come on, what are you still doing there?’

‘I’m looking for condoms.’

‘Bullshit! Come back here!’

‘I’m kidding. I’m actually looking for the way back.’

A pale hand reaches out in the darkness, grabs my leg and starts pulling me. When I come closer Sylvia checks how the walk has affected me and decides that I need some reinforcement. I had to stay up for a while.

‘Do you remember that movie I showed you today?’ I throw in innocently. Oh yeah, she remembers.

For a moment Sylvia pulls back to take a sip from the water bottle.

‘And don’t you finish!’ she warns me ‘I’m first.’

‘Don’t worry’ I reply impatiently and romantically bury my fingers in her hair. After that I pull in her head without any trance of romance.

Half an hour later we lay next to each other, drying up. Everything smells like mint, including us.

‘Hey, I completely forgot. I bought you a small present!’ Sylvia says and starts groping around to look for her purse.

‘It’s on the couch. The other side of the облегалката.’

Sylvia picks herself up, reaches out and lazily pulls out her purse. She starts shuffling in. Something clicks. She takes it out and hands it to me. I reach over for my cell phone and press a random button to light the present with the screen.

‘It’s a box of Tick-tacks!’ she notifies me with self-satisfaction and rolls over me ‘Do you like it?’

‘You could say so. Are you implying I have a bad breath?’

‘Nooo. You’re so silly. Tick-tock, tick-tock!’

‘Food for ticktockosauruses?’ intoxicated with the mint, my conscious manages to hit the right directions the second time.

‘Bingo! Today a girl at work took out a box of tick-tacks and I found that very funny.’

‘Does that girl have a key on her back?’

‘No, she doesn’t. But she’s very stupid and she talks a lot. She’s like clockwork.’

‘It could be some type of new sound clock. Something like a sand clock, but you can tell the time by how much your head hurts by listening to her. Is that Stanislava?’

‘Yeah, I told you about her – I forgot.’

Silence.

‘Nope, I’m still wet’ if Sylvia could purr, she would have done it at that moment.

‘I meant will you be cold if I open the windows and turn on the air conditioning.’

‘Let’s change the sheets first. They’re soaked.’

‘ I don’t think I have a change of sheets.’

‘Well, we’ll get dressed and we’ll take the sheets off.’

Click! We both squint against the light of the night lamp. But we have to since our underwear is spread all over the room. Sylvia has stretched seductively on her belly and is looking at me with one eye.

‘Maybe we should stay naked a little while longer’ she murmurs.

‘It’s not a bad idea but we’ll need to wait at least three hours.’

‘For whaaaaat’ the duckling is being goofy.

‘So that you don’t blow up the belly, sweetheart.’ I say.

‘Mmmm’ she frowns at the thought.

‘This is yours. And this. And that.’

With a huge discontent Sylvia starts moving and putting on her clothes. I jump in my boxers, pick up the stuff around, so that the only things that stay are two glasses, the mint and the water (we’re on my turf – damn, my grandma always tells me not to spoil women and show them how good a host I am…), I open the window and turn the air conditioning on. The pleasure from the cold stream of air is borderline orgasmic.

Sylvia pours in the drinks. She gropes for the remote and turns on the TV.

‘’I have to be at the tick-tock man’s place at 9.30 AM tomorrow’ I say after I lie down next to Sylvia and pull the covers.

‘Damn. What time is it?

‘2.30 AM.’

‘Hm. How are we going to get up? Will you give him a tick-tack candy?’

‘I’ll give him a leather key, to wind himself up’

Sylvia reaches over me and turns off the light. After that she turns off the TV.

‘Let’s sleep she whispers in my ear. ‘Aren’t you sleepy?’

‘I’m really sleepy actually. But you shift around too much and I can’t sleep.’

‘There, I’m stopping!’

Sylvia puts her head on my shoulder, after that I position my shoulder under her head and finally we settle down. Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock…

Only the air conditioning keeps humming quietly.

9.

Back in time.

In the rainy day there was a piece of glass. On one side of the glass was the grey, dark, summer afternoon, and on the other side sat Sylvia and me. Somewhere, in some café.

Our first date. It was awkward.

Sylvia was playing with a curl of her hair. I was smiling cuz I found it amusing. That same story with the awkwardness of the first date was repeating, repeating… I managed to come up with the conclusion that every beginning is the same. Only later will the atmosphere around the girl creep into your world and will give the specific characteristics of the romance/affair.

‘With all that sunshine last week…’ Sylvia made an expressive gesture towards the rain that kept pouring out.

‘That’s a good omen.’ I replied ‘When I was going into the army it was raining like hell. After that I had a very smooth service.’

‘Where did you serve?’

‘Three months in Pleven, as a rookie, then eighteen days in Gorna Banya and after that at 5th kilometer.

‘In Sofia?’

‘Yep. Actually 7 minutes walking distance from where my grandma lives.’

‘Well, you definitely can’t complain.’ Sylvia gave me a wide smile. ‘And you don’t look like it had a bad effect on you.’

‘I’m so abstinent for social life right now, that there’s no chance I’ll be looking bad.’ I clarified. ‘Everything makes me happy, including this lousy rain; I can be at some place with a girl, instead of giving watch at Studena dam, for example.’

Sylvia laughed. After that she put her elbows on the table and leaned forward.

‘Your pupils are widened.’ She notified me, staring in my eyes.

“If you knew what my pulse is like…’ I thought in reply, but kept silent. I guessed that my look … said everything. A guy that was just discharged. He doesn’t accept women as people. They are … and object of focused attention? Of full concentration actually? Even my spinal cord reacts at the sight of a woman. The radar works at its full capacity and nothing goes by unnoticed… Just imagine how a man that hasn’t eaten for 9 months will look at any fried chicken crossing the street – with a certain mix of fanatical longing, instantaneous resetting of the moral system (the new one has only one center) and complete disregard of everything else.

A thunder struck outside – strong and close. Sylvia’s pupils widened as well.

‘You’re so beautiful, it’s driving me insane.’ I said it so suddenly, that I got scared myself.

‘Oh… Thanks!’ Sylvia looked embarrassed. I shouldn’t have done that, damn, what am I doing! ‘This is a compliment that … a woman doesn’t hear every day.’ she clarified. She leaned back. I agreed. I couldn’t say anything after that. I kept quiet.

After a short pause in which we watched the rain Sylvia looked at me and asked:

‘What are you going to do now? Will you look for a job?’

‘Actually I’m already working. For the last month I was on a leave and had to start working… I’m photographing clocks and updating the website of an old client.

‘Clocks?’

‘Antiques. Horrible, round clicking things.’

‘Why are you taking pictures of them?’

‘I’m selling them on internet. For a client. I.e., he’s a clock man and fixes and restores them, and I just take care of the electronic part of his business.’

‘Sounds interesting!’

‘I don’t think so. It’s disgusting. I want a sledge hammer.’

‘Is that why you don’t wear a watch?’

‘No, but this is why I won’t start wearing one again.’

I felt how the silence will fall over us again. I didn’t want this to happen.

‘Do you want to get out of here?’ I asked.

10.

Mint.

This afternoon was sunny and cheerful like a pleasant memory from my early childhood. Something was trying to get its way through the everyday troubles and overwhelm my being. It seemed like slight pang of happiness. Naturally, I was resisting it – every time I had succumbed to such bubbly happy moods, shit happened.

It wasn’t so hard to isolate myself from that exciting mood. It was enough to focus on the bullshit I was working on.

Actually, if I have to be honest, I was shooting clocks. Tick-tock. Awk.

My cell phone chirped. I picked up the weird, pink, hit-resistant thing made by Siemens and said:

‘Here.’

‘Hi.’

Sylvia said it as if it was a statement. Groovy/cool. I had taught myself to get turned on by that casual tone (conditioned reflex). I replied with a Hi. Also awfully casual. Let her learn as well.

I went to the window, where behind the net against insects, there was Luilin. One of the most disgusting things that could be behind my fucking window.

‘How are you? You’re probably working?’

‘Oh, yeah, I’m ticking.’

‘Do you have a lot more to do?’

‘Enough to start puking soon. What bout you? Where are you? What are you up to?’

‘I’m home. I got back from work a few minutes ago. Do you want to meet tonight?’

‘Yep.’

‘How much longer will you be there?’

‘No fucking idea. Till I’m done. I don’t want to say anything definite cuz I don’t want to mislead you. I’ll call you when I’m done.’

Outside the sun was shining. There was something prisonlike in that net. I remembered that at the clockman’s balcony there were real hideous (зловещи) bars. Before I went into the army, probably a week before that, I stood there, basking in the fall sun and imagined how the daughters of the Ticktock man feel, when they come out to play, surrounded by prison bars. Hellish. Then I felt like grabbing two of the metal things and start screaming through the balcony: ‘Let me go, I’m innocent, set me freeee!’ All of that mixed with the unimaginable depression of the imminent military service (it turned out to be not as bad as I thought, but who know what awaits them…it’s depression…).

‘Do you want me to stop by and pick you up?’

‘Hm?’ first I had to return from the flashbacks and only after that proanalyzed Sylvia’s words. ‘Aha. It’s just that I’m with the Blue Bird.’

‘That’s ok. I’ll drive you back to pick it up tomorrow.’

Sylvia had very recently got her car and was dying to drive people around. A bit frightening/ enervating, as it combined a woman and a young driver into one but … how could I say no.

‘Great. Then I’ll call you when I start listing the shit on eBay.

‘And don’t get frustrated. When you’re done, the pleasant part of the evening will start. ‘

‘God made you to heal people’s souls. Gave you speech to pour pleasantness into people’s ears. I also hope he gave you a hammer and a Makarov.’

‘I know what you need the hammer for. And the gun?’

‘I don’t want to bother and kill a clockman with a hammer. I intend on blowing his brains out with a single shot – right in the middle of the forehead.’

‘Disgusting.’

‘Yeah.’

‘I’ll leave you with your clocks. And just so you know, I’ll be lurking around the phone like a cat.

‘Pussy, pussy, pussy!’

‘Hey, stop it.’

‘Bye.’

‘Bye.’

Tick-tock…

11.

This story ends in a different way. It ends with my final meeting with the clockman – to get my last payment.

I’m getting out of the apartment. The Ticktock man comes down with me to the entrance door to let me out, as their system is like that. The clockman is greasy as hands, with which you just ate chicken.

‘Ok, then, bye and what do you think, will the new guy be good at this?’ he’s speaking without putting an end to his sentences. Every paragraph he makes is a long, stating sentence.

‘Oh, yeah, he’s the man, don’t get on his back, he’s just a bit off cuz everything is new to him. And both of us hanging over his head is too much on him. Otherwise he’s a very intelligent dude, you won’t have any trouble.

‘Well, sure, but if something comes up and he doesn’t make it, if somebody else has to be trained you’ll come, cuz you know the stuff…I’ll pay, of course!’

Of course! Man, that unbelievable Scrooge was negotiating over 100 leva for I don’t know how long. I asked for it to train the new guy; finally he didn’t give me that but instead offered me not to work for the last two weeks and just train, in the meantime take my full payment for the month. I swear that’s what I did. Finally the clockman had become frustrated but I had had enough of him and just let him deal with the newbie, the mails and didn’t lift a finger for anything else besides training. Go to hell.

‘Sure, no prob.’ I lied. I.e. if he called, I would ask for money, and so much of it, that he wouldn’t be willing to pay.

I let him get back home, letting myself feel sorry for him for one last time. Unlike me, he couldn’t pick up his hat and get away from himself. After that u jumped into the Blue Bird, leaned back into the seat and sat quietly for a while. After which I let out a wild happy roar, turned on Eminem to the max, started the car and floored the gas rearing out. With a slide I got out the parking lot, shifted into first and put the pedal to the metal.

Here the camera moves away from the protagonist (* My editor claims that there is no protagonist in belletristic writing/ fiction. I say I don’t give a damn :) – and stays at the exit of the parking lot. With the roar of a tortured 1.2 liter engine, draining out every last one of its strained out 45 horse powers, the Blue Bird flew towards the free adequate world and the civilization; further away from all clockmen and further away from Luilin.

A dog passed in front of the camera, sniffed at it and peed on the lens. But the protagonist was no longer there,
and he didn’t
even
give
a fuck

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